Apparently, bed bugs are real and coming back by the mattress-load, the AP reports . Never mind that wind storm—bed bugs are a total disaster.

So what are these bed bugs? For me, before reading this terrible news, they were the star in that rhyme:

Good Night
Sleep tight
Don’t let the bed bugs bite.

At some point, about the same time you hear that "Ring Around the Rosey" is about bubonic plague , I learned bed bugs were actual living things, not just clever lyrics. Childhood dies hard.

Now, it turns out, they are back after a layoff of about 75 years. And the reasons are various, if not downright unclear. It’s not exactly known why they’re back, but it has to do with international travel and decrease in pesticide use, among other things. So far, the loudest trouble comes from hotels and dorms, where turnover is constant. (Note to self: Use this to reduce student loans somehow ...)

Science, however, is on the case (Harvard: "Where do bed bugs occur? Favored hiding sites include the bed" ). Professor Susan Jones  of The Ohio State University Extension Entomology tells me the inquiries about bed bugs have noticeably increased, along with the incidence of problems.

"So what do I do?" you ask. According to the preponderance of resources I have checked, you’ll need some modern additions to your preparedness kit for an age-old problem. It comes down to laundry and petroleum jelly . Washing with hot water destroys the varmints, and petroleum jelly inhibits their relentless march up the bed post. Finally, a constant vigil by your most trusted pest control professionals  will take up where your efforts might leave off.