Winter storms have hit the Heartland . Guided By History is on it.

For starters, you're going to need a little knowledge. Begin your winter storm prep here(PDF)  for the basic overview, then expand your know-how and survival kit with this  from Springfield, Ill., and this info  from Stearns County, Minn. Winters are long and cold there, so these are people who know snow.

New England also knows snow—and how to tame it. New England Motorsports has this forum on tires . Connect with these guys if you need more info. These fellas here  can get you started down the cleared road to do-it-yourself environmental alteration. If they don't know gear, it can't be known. Keep in mind you need to get going before dawn—that's when plowing's done, cowboy. Or you can leave it to the giants of plowage .

Now you're getting ready, but you need one last thing—something to laugh at us bluebloods from out West. Here it is . Just know we have an answer  for you.

Most of us came out here to the crowds and the smog precisely because of everything I've just written about.