When your friends are at different life stages—or different economic stages—than you are, sometimes it’s a bit of a struggle.

Twelve and a half years separate me and Barbara (it’s true—I could’ve been her babysitter). So I’m a little older, a little more established career wise, and a little less nervous about my mortgage payment. Basically, I have more disposable income  than she does. I’m always suggesting stuff for us to do, and that stuff—shoe shopping, a concert, a weekend in Des Moines to visit Caroline—usually costs money.

To her credit, Barbara’s really good at saying no:

Me: Hey, let’s go to lunch!

Barbara: I can’t—I only have $100 left in my budget for the week. I’m going to go home and eat oatmeal instead.

Me: Seriously?

With only a few weeks to go before she closes on her house, Barbara is committed to her budget—and I applaud her for that. Fortunately, for the sake of our friendship, we’ve managed to compromise. If we go to the movies, we hit the discount matinee or the second-run theatre and smuggle in our own treats (shhh!). Or for lunch, we’ve discovered that we can get a gigantic pizza slice and an even larger soda for less than three bucks at Sam’s Club .

Actually, I can’t complain. This thriftiness is good for my own bottom line. Plus, with the money I’ve saved, I’m more than willing to treat Barbara once in awhile—whether it’s to a real restaurant lunch or something for her new home. When she protests, I just remind her that one day, she’ll be the older, wiser friend and can pay it forward  to someone else.

I hope she will.