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Is there a silver lining to divorce? Maybe. According to a study from financial consulting firm Spectrem Group, 62% of high-income divorced women say they've financially benefited from the split - not from a large settlement (though I'm sure that's often the case) but because they've had to educate themselves about their finances, and take more control.

Unfortunately, that sort of education doesn't happen automatically - or overnight. Jenny says her divorce left her financially insecure because she had an expectation that she would be married forever - and that, during that time, her successful husband would take care of her financially. That didn't pan out, and she was left to rebuild. If you're in the same boat - or want to simply get a better grip on your finances so that you can participate more fully in your own financial life - what steps can you take?

• Start educating yourself. Do it slowly, if it scares you. Pick one thing to target each month: This month, you'll call your utility bills and ask them to cut you a better deal. Next, you'll go over your credit card statements. By the end of the year, you'll be reading up on your investments and rebalancing. Think that's not likely? Women are actually fantastic investors - (a study from Ledbury Research has shown) better than men - because our inclination to buy and hold means we don't lose as much to commissions and fees. Our tendency to research the heck out of anything we want to purchase also helps when it comes to stocks and mutual funds.
• Find someone to hold your hand. At least in the beginning, it pays to have an advisor. That could be a knowledgeable friend or family member, but even better, it can be a professional -- a financial advisor who can look over your situation and give you specific steps you need to take to get and stay on track. This support system will give you more confidence as you move forward, particularly as you go through the process of submerging yourself in your finances.
• Accept mistakes. You will make them and that is okay - this is a marathon, not a sprint. The ultimate goal is a comfortable retirement - and, sure, maybe a vacation here and there - and a long time horizon bakes in the ability to recover from missteps. So if you realize that you've been paying $50 too much for your cell phone bill, or you overdraw an account, pick yourself up and move on. But first, recognize it as a learning experience. You'll never forget to read your bills or check your account balance again.
• Look ahead. Everyone, not just women, should have some financial autonomy in his or her relationship. This is something that Jenny did right - she had her own, separate account, with money she was bringing in. Sure, it was just "play" money (her words) but she had access to money that was hers should she need it. And, as it turns out, she did.

Here's something you may not know about me: Every morning I make my bed. This is something I've been doing long before Gretchen Rubin revealed in The Happiness Project that it's one of those small things that actually can make us happier. For me, it amounts to a clean canvas, a clutter-free canvas, and that helps me get the day off to a better start.

I thought about that while talking to Gina and while re-reading the transcript of our conversation. What is it about a bigger environment (house, apartment, closet) full of stuff that pales in comparison (at least for some people) to a smaller environment with fewer belongings? And while we're on the subject, why does it feel so good to throw things out?

In my book, it's all about control. When you have less to manage - whether we're talking about fewer rooms, fewer files (computer or paper), even fewer employees - it's easier to feel that you're managing it well. That argues for taking a little bit of time to simplify to put yourself back in the driver's seat. There are a number of people who have their own complex methodologies for how to do this. Mine is relatively simple. But I'm sharing it here in the hope that you'll pipe up with some tips of your own.

Tackle one challenge at a time. The problem with starting a cleaning/simplification project is that it can quickly take on a life of its own. You clean a closet. It feels so good you tackle your dresser. Then move to your desk. Before you realize it, the entire day is gone. Start a clock and give yourself a limited amount of time. Then come back to it the next day and tackle another chunk. Doing it this way, I've found helps me stay rational. (I've been known to get overheated in my excitement to unload.) I like approaching it with a fresh eye.

Think about things you can do that will have lasting results. My husband has taken on the challenge - and it's more of a challenge than you might expect - of getting us off unwanted catalog mailing lists. He's been using a service called Catalog Choice to help, but you can also call a few each day and ask them to remove you. The less junk that comes in, the less that has to go out. Do the same for your email inbox. If you end up on the email list of a company because you made a purchase and you don't like having to hit delete on a daily basis, unsubscribe.

Be a little loose with the rules. My friend, fashion designer Kay Unger, once explained to me that the idea that you should throw an item of clothing out if you haven't worn it for a year or two is misguided. Some things will come back, she explained. Not necessarily the questionable fashions of the 1980s, but those leather items that are so in this year? We've seen them before and we'll see them again. Ditto statement necklaces. (Kay wears some that were her mother's.) If you spent a considerable amount on it and it looks good on you, store it in a basement closet. Then pull it out again in a few years before you decide to abandon it.

When it comes to a serious illness or an injury, no one thinks it will happen to them. The statistics say otherwise. According to The Disability Management Sourcebook, one in seven people will become disabled for five years or more before they reach age 65. And, two in five people will actually use their long-term care insurance policies (handily trumping the numbers of people who will tap into their homeowners or auto insurance policies.)

Both disability and long-term care insurance are products that not enough people purchase. In part, that's because they're pricey. In part, that's because they're complicated. Here, some guidelines to help you figure out if they're right for you.

When it comes to disability insurance, the question to ask yourself is what sort of a safety net you'd have access to if you weren't able to work due to illness or injury. Could you live on Social Security Disability Income? For most people the answer is no. The best - i.e. most economical - way to buy disability insurance is through your employer. If your company offers a group policy, that's the way to go. Generally, these policies will cover no more than 60% of your compensation, so if there's a supplemental policy on the menu as well, consider tacking it on.

If your employer doesn't offer a policy, the challenge is trickier - and generally more expensive. Start at the website of the National Association of Health Underwriters and find an agent who specializes in life and disability policies. Policies for women run about one-third more than those for men because women tend to become disabled more frequently. If you can't afford the policies you're quoted, one way to bring the cost down is by extending the "waiting period" - the number of days between the beginning of the disability and the time your benefits kick in.

I think of disability insurance as income insurance. Long-term care insurance, on the other hand, is nursing insurance. Whether you receive care at home or in a facility, should you need it the costs escalate - and fast. Again, a pricey coverage, long-term care insurance makes sense for people with assets of between about $500,000 to $1 million and $5 million (or those with more significant assets who want to pass a hefty sum to their heirs.) The logic: If you have a smaller nest egg than those lower limits and you need care, you will fairly quickly exhaust your assets and qualify for Medicaid. Also, it may be difficult to maintain the pricey premiums. If you have a bigger nest egg, you could essentially self-insure and fund your own care.

Again, if your employer offers a policy you should consider it. Group policies can be less expensive and if you have a pre-existing condition, you may not have to undergo a physical. But you should also price it against policies your agent (again from NAHU.org) prices for you specifically. Make sure you line up benefit-against-benefit (i.e. how long is the waiting period, how many activities of daily living do you have to be unable to do before benefits will be paid?) And shop starting at age 50. At age 60, policies become much more expensive and rejection rates for health reasons rise.

As Gina noted, no one wants to create a "sick fund." But for many people, these policies can make serious sense.

When it rains it pours isn't just the Morton's slogan. Many people find - fortunately or unfortunately -- it's also the way life goes. That was true for Gina, diagnosed with cancer shortly after losing her gig as an independent contractor. While you can't plan for these individual events (or, I suppose you could try, but it would be a real bummer) you can - you should - plan for emergencies in general.

I've written often in this space that you should aim to have a liquid emergency cushion of three to six months living expenses to tide you over in cases just like this. And I do believe that's optimal. But there are some times when it seems impossible to amass this much money, and others when it seems like other financial to-dos take priority. So this week, we discuss emergency cushion nuances:

Which takes priority - building up an emergency cushion or paying down debt? Particularly with interest rates on savings as low as they are now, you get a much bigger financial bang by paying down debt. And, as long as you keep your credit lines fairly open, if you have a real emergency you can put it on a credit card. However, not having any liquid savings pretty much ensures that every little emergency will end up costing not just its price tag but interest as well. So, I'd split the difference until you build up a few thousand dollars. Then wail on your credit card debt until it's gone. Then go back to funding your cushion.

Where should I put my emergency cushion? I understand that low savings rates are frustrating (on the flip side, low mortgage rates have brought a lot of people a lot of joy) but that doesn't mean your emergency fund belongs in a place other than a savings or money market account. Why? Because not only do your emergency savings have to be liquid and free from risk, they have to be accessible. In other words, you have to be able to get at the money if and when you need it without jumping through a lot of hoops. For that reason, a bank with a local branch you can actually walk into may be your best bet.

How about using a line of credit instead? I like having a home equity line of credit as an additional emergency cushion. It doesn't cost much (if anything) to establish, you don't actually borrow the money unless you need it, and so you never pay interest until that happens. It's not a substitute for nice chuck of cash. But if your cash cushion isn't at the three to six month level, or even if it is, it's nice knowing that you're doubly covered. Just note: If your emergency is a result of unemployment, this is not a move you can typically make once you're out of the workforce. Lenders will want to see that you have the income to support repaying the loan.

What's more American than baseball and mom's apple pie? We have many symbols of what being an American is all about. We are proud of being the land of the free, the home of the brave. Yet, we know in many areas, the U.S ranks much lower than many other countries when it comes to longevity, academic achievement and savings, just to name a few.

Since it's America Saves Week, should we celebrate our progress or is it a rally call to make changes? I think it's both. Despite the economic challenges over the past few years, savings rates have stayed relatively stable, bouncing between 3.7% and 5.4%. In fact, savings rates are up from 2007 when the average savings rate had dipped to 2.4%. However, we pale by comparison to Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, France and Spain, who all boast saving rates of over 10%.

In 401(k) retirement plans, the average savings rate is 7.3%. We have seen improvement with the millennium's savings rates with an average savings rate of 4.6%. Many people are benefiting from employer sponsored 401(k) plans where they are automatically enrolled. There is the option to opt out, but most do not. So, if you are saving in your retirement plan, you are likely doing better than the average American when it comes to savings. Yet, if we stay at these low savings rates, most Americans will be woefully short of what they will need for their retirement.

How do you rank compared to the average? Keep in mind our average is nothing to write home about. If you aren't saving--or you are not saving enough--think about how you can change that. Here are three pointers that may help along the way.

First, have a goal. It's easier to save when it's for something important for you and your family. When we talk about saving for retirement, we suggest framing it around "your future." When you retire, do you want to travel, spend time with the grand kids, or volunteer in your community? That picture is much more motivating for me than just thinking about how much money I will need when I am old!

Second, have a plan. A few simple calculations can help you determine how much you should be saving. Personally, I like to think about how much I can put aside from each paycheck because it feels less imposing than a big annual savings goal.

Third, take small steps. If you start saving 5% from each paycheck, can you increase that 1% each year? Perhaps when you get your next raise, you could even bump it up by 2%. Whether it's at the start of a new year, on your birthday, or some other special date, pick one that will be a good time for you to stop and think about your next best step to increase your savings.

Americans may still be lagging other countries in savings rates, but we as individuals can all take steps to improve our own savings averages. Take a minute during America Saves Week to check on your savings habits. Can you take a small step that will increase your savings?

On a recent business trip I stumbled across an article from the Chronicle of Philanthropy that was shocking. I have always assumed that the American spirit of giving to those less fortunate was a consistent bond we all share. This article debunked my naive perspective. A few facts - the rich are not the most generous, the highest givers in our country earn between $50,000 -75,000. In addition there are strong regional differences. The top two states for giving are Utah (10.6%) and Mississippi (7.6%) (Alabama, Tennessee and South Carolina round out the top five) and the bottom two states for giving are Maine and New Hampshire at 3.3% and 2.5% respectively. Wealthier people who live in more diverse areas give more than people who live in homogeneously wealthy neighborhoods and more religious areas of the U.S. are more generous.

So what does this mean to you and to me as we think about our giving? Do you land in the 2% giving group or closer to the 10% giving group? Did your parents share what they gave to those less fortunate?

In my upbringing, I did experience a weekly tithing ritual and that was how I learned to calculate 10% of any number, something that has helped me in tipping since that time - I just double the tithe amount. So, I would fall into that category of being impacted by religious upbringing. So how does our family decide on our charitable giving and the amount? We are actively trying to get to a 10% number. As our income increased, our giving did not match, so for the last several years, we have tried to be more deliberate and increase our gifts until we get to 10%. We currently are at 8% as a family. We were recently told by our advisors that we are one of the largest givers in their book of business - and I thought they were just paying us a compliment - but maybe they were being honest!

What would it mean if all of America will give 1% more to those charities that are meaningful to them? Think of the impact that would have on our country. What would it offer to the next generation? I say, let's start a generosity movement....what do you say?

Having a long-term or chronic illness, or being diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, throws a wrench into the financial plans of a good many people. You may think these are the sorts of things that only impact the elderly. You'd be wrong. More than 120 million Americans have a chronic illness and scores of millions of them are far below retirement age.

As you might expect, this is one of those situations where you're better off shoring up your reserves before diagnosis - buying disability or long-term care insurance is certainly tougher after. But there are financial moves you can make even after you've started receiving care for your condition that can make your future years significantly easier. Among them:

Focus on your emergency fund (or a back-pocket alternative). While you - and your spouse if you have one - are able to work and save, an emergency cushion should be top of mind. You want at least six months of liquid expenses you could draw on in case you have to take time off of work. If the illness sapped your earning capacity and has made this impossible (or if you can't do it for some other reason) and you own a home, apply for a home equity line of credit to serve as your de facto emergency cushion. Don't use it unless you absolutely have to. But in a crisis you'll know it's there.

Shore up your employee benefits. While you're working, make sure you're on the health plan that your employer (or your spouse's employer) offers that is best suited to your needs. Likewise, if your employer offers group disability or group long term care insurance, consider taking advantage of them during the next open enrollment period.

Downshift your lifestyle. Diagnosis of a chronic illness - particularly one that's likely to shorten your working lifespan - is a cue to revisit both your financial and retirement plan. If this news means you won't be able to save as much as you thought for retirement (because of time out of the workforce or greater healthcare expenses) reducing your spending in a way that allows you to make up the gap is a smart move. That takes planning and compromise. A financial advisor can help.

Get your ducks in a row. Too often, unfortunately, it takes something like this to maneuver us into doing the estate planning we should have done long ago. Every adult with either children or significant assets (and a business counts as a significant asset) should have a will. You also need a durable power of attorney for finance (to allow another person to make financial decisions on your behalf) a healthcare proxy (to allow another person to make medical decisions on your behalf) and a living will (to tell a hospital or other medical institution whether you'd want life support.) If you're reading this and you haven't crossed those T's and dotted those I's, it's time.

Wells Fargo and BlogHer "What is your relationship with money" contest winner - Candice Kilpatrick.

Money and I have a long history. My parents were very frugal, and from a young age I dutifully squirreled away my allowance in a box under my bed.

My parents, and later my spouse, controlled my spending and shamed me when I needed money.

I learned to not need money and became a money saver to the point of martyrdom.

After my divorce, through wisdom of experience I have achieved more balance in using money to do the things I want to do while still avoiding debt.

Travel, friendship, and my children take financial priority. I live in a modest studio apartment, and do not own a car. I don't want any aspect of money to impede my goals and desires.

I won't be enslaved to debt and I won't martyr myself anymore!

A friend of mine - okay, a friend who happens to be my attorney - once said to me, "I can talk to you because you're like a guy." I figured his remark gave me two choices. I could get really peeved (because there's a lot about a remark like that that's pretty insulting if you stop and think about it). Or, I could try to figure out what he meant. Since I like him and wanted to keep working with him, I chose the latter. "What do you mean?" I asked. "You compartmentalize like a guy," he explained. "When you're working, you're working. When you're home, you're home."

Ahhh.

While the mother in me struggled a bit to figure out if I should still be insulted at that, I also knew he was right. I am a pretty good compartmentalizer, which Webster's dictionary says is "the ability to separate into isolated compartments or categories." Quite frankly, it's the way I manage to get things done.

And it is typically described as a male skill. But as I spoke with Amy about her illness, I also realized that having an ability to compartmentalize is a helpful coping skill during a tough time. And work is often the perfect place to do it. Being able to pour yourself - even a little bit - into a job-related task can be a terrific way to both take your mind off what's going on with your health or at home (or wherever your troubles happen to be). As a bonus, your work-based accomplishments can give you an added lift to bolster your confidence or spirits.

But how do you do it if you're not a practiced compartmentalizer?

Schedule yourself strategically. Essentially you want to give yourself permission to be fully present at work. That means trying to clear the workday for work - not detouring with a lunch or phone call that will take you into personal territory, for instance. Put parameters on the day so you know that from, say, 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., this is where your focus needs to be.

Line up some goals. We're best able to get into the flow of things if we have specific goals we're working toward. Tell yourself you want to finish the presentation by Tuesday at noon, for instance, and the evaluations by Thursday at 5. Then working backward, break the tasks into smaller benchmarks that you can hit along the way.

Involve others in your work challenges. It can be a spirit lifter to have a team working toward the same endgame that you are. You can feed off each others energy as well as each others ideas. Positivity is also catching. So, making sure you're spending at least part of your day in the company of people who aren't facing the same challenges you are can be heartening.

Finally, search for flow. What's flow? It's a state of being when you become so involved in the task at hand that the day flies by. You may forget to eat lunch - or even to go to the bathroom - because you're so immersed the thought never occurs to you. Some people are fortunate enough that flow is a frequent occurrence for them. For most of us, it's more intermittent. But trying to find activities that are this absorbing for you - and then do them more often -- is definitely worth the effort. They're precisely the sort of things that take us outside of ourselves.

Wells Fargo and BlogHer "What is your relationship with money" contest winner - Rachael McCray.

I can easily compare my relationship with money to that of Dorothy's adventure in Oz. I began safely at home, an ignorant dependent. I was eager to run away to financial independence. I ultimately found myself swept up by a cyclone of materialism and bad credit.

You see, I awoke in a colorful, fun world of unaccountable spending. I made new friends who were equally anxious to realize the joy of consumerism. We traveled the yellow brick road of good intentions, but ended up asleep in the poppy fields of squander.

My mother, the good witch, floated in and out of my journey. She offered friendly, wise financial advice. I didn't listen. Instead, I ran from wicked creditors who sent flying monkeys of debt collection to retrieve their ruby slippers at a 27% interest rate.

With much help from above, I found my way to the Emerald City. I admired the pretty, painted horses of debt -free living. I met with the wizard and accepted my mission. I threw water in the face of greed. I confronted the man behind the curtain and clicked my own heels, awake with a new perspective.

While I can never truly go "home" to a care-free, dependent life, I can learn from my mistakes. Truth is, money has not been the root of happiness behind my life's adventure. It has, however, been a tool used to teach me responsibility, self-control, and thankfulness. Money is no longer a "Golden Cap" of power over me.