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Our first quarter 2013 Wells Fargo/ Gallup investor/ Retirement optimism index made a BIG jump from November 2012. Optimism is rising, the index is at +31 compared to -8 in 4th quarter 2012. The optimism was much higher for non-retirees who marked a +38 on the index compared to only +7 for retirees. During first quarter the stock market was also up, with the S&P posting a 10% increase. With all this optimism, did investors dramatically change their investment strategy? No, in fact 85% of them held the course and made no changes. Only 10% increased their allocation to stocks according to their index.

I am encouraged to see 85% did not make a knee jerk reaction to the stock market's rise in first quarter. History would tell us that chasing returns doesn't always bring great results. Personally, I have never had the crystal ball to know when to buy in and out of the market so I find it better to have professional do that for me. That may be simply by buying a target date fund that has a preset asset allocation, or it could be through some type of managed account. Clearly having put some thought into the right allocation for you is critical - the approach of staying the course depends on having a good starting point.

Either way, I find myself in that 85% group - who stayed the course. How about you, are you in the optimistic camp? Did you change your allocation this last quarter?

Women are more financially independent than ever before: The majority - whether single, married or partnered - are their household's primary breadwinner, according to a Prudential survey. They make up close to half of the work force, and more than half of college graduates.

But there is an older generation that may just be discovering their financial independence for the first time. Mary's mother falls into that category: Married for many years, Mary says she was part of a generation that took care of her husband and the home first. It was only later, after Mary's dad passed away, that she was able to experience financial independence, even buying her very first car at age 76.

Many people reach this point and freeze - they don't know how to manage the money and household decisions on their own after so many years spent relying on someone else. Here's how to make the transition:

Start early. A solid 90% of women will have to manage their finances solo at some point in their lives. It's a function of many factors - namely, divorce, waiting longer to marry, and the fact that women tend to outlive men. Start planning for this change in advance by putting a foot in the family finances now. That means learning all of the log-in information for online accounts, what is owed and when those bills are due, how much you save and where you save it, how much you have available for retirement, and what your insurance coverage is. Sit down and shadow your partner if he (or she!) tends to manage this side of your lives alone.

Embrace it. Mary's mother found that taking charge of her own financial life - picking out and paying for that car all on her own - was empowering. Mary says she's become a "new, dynamic woman," one who has freedom and independence. Though her father is greatly missed, it's a good feeling. You may find yourself experiencing the same thing. Take the time to enjoy your newfound freedom, and pat yourself on the back for your accomplishments.

Take advantage. Mary's mom was finally able to purchase the car she wanted after all those years. What do you want? You'll quickly find that saving for a goal and making it happen is an immense feeling of accomplishment. Pick something small and work toward it - that momentum will give you the confidence to meet larger goals in the future, like retirement.

Get help. A major life change or milestone is a good opportunity to seek advice from a financial advisor. Even just a quick check up can give you the confidence you need to move forward on your own; a more long-term relationship can help ensure that you get and stay on track with periodic check-ins.

Don't be too independent. You need a team of people on your side as you go into the later stages of life. One might be the aforementioned financial advisor, but you'll also want someone or multiple people to serve as your financial and healthcare powers of attorney. These people are designated to make decisions for you if you are unable to make them for yourself, and you'll select them as part of a comprehensive estate-planning package, which also includes your will.

On a recent road trip, I was enjoying the cruise control option on the car. Set the speed and enjoy the scenery. Personally , that's what I like to do with my savings plan. If I can put my savings on autopilot, I am more likely to consistently contribute and not miss a beat. Yet one of the problems with cruise control is that the speed stays the same regardless of road conditions or speed limit changes. Similarly, we know that if someone is auto enrolled into their retirement plan at 3%- that's where they are likely to stay. In fact, for 401(k) plans with auto enrollment, the average contribution rate for new hires is just over 4% . This is lower than the average deferral rate of 7.3% for plans without automatic enrollment- but the catch is that in those cases less than 40% of new hires actually participate compared to over 85% when auto enrolled.

So - first get in the plan! Then if you start out at a low savings rate, make sure you don't sit there too long. You don't want to be that car going 30 mph in a 55 mph zone!

If your 401(k) plan offers an auto increase feature, sign up. Even better than cruise control, someone else can do the driving!

At a recent conference, one speaker quipped that there are three personal topics in conversation that folks don't dare cover: money and death. Who wants to admit they don't save enough or are deep in debt or that we all are speeding toward death?

How many of us want to admit that if we have money in our accounts that is not earmarked for something specific, that it takes no time to find a good way to spend it? And, why is it that when I go into Costco or BJ's with a list of 10 things and leave with 30 things and a bill over $300? And believe it or not, it is not my daughter begging for that book or new fashion statement hat, it is all me.

If we think back to the 1950's the average American saved 10% of their income . Is it because those bulk-purchase stores did not exist or it was just harder to write all those checks than to swipe cards? Since the 1950's, the US savings rate has dropped each decade to a place where we now hover around 3%. The downturn a few years back helped folks focus on reducing personal debt but the savings rate is still woefully low.

I know I save more than my parents, and I am seeking to instill savings in the next generation, but thinking about our country as a whole - what will we do when folks without pension plans retire and don't have enough money to live their remaining years? What if their kids can't care for them? I feel the American savings rate is a much larger issue than a personal one - this continued lack of savings could impact our next generations in ways we may not realize from an inability for older people to pay for healthcare to increase homelessness. How do you see the impact?

Meir Statman, a Behavioral finance professor at Santa Clara University was recently interviewed by Money Magazine about how well Americans are doing with retirement savings. Specifically, he proposed that many of us need more than a nudge, we need a shove. We've used the nudge approach in recent years by automatically enrolling employees in 401(k) plans- often at a starting level of 3% of salary. A good start but not enough to build an adequate nest egg. The shove he proposes would be to mandate savings at a specific level such as 8%. In a culture where choice is a given- and typically not just one option but many, a mandatory requirement might sound harsh. Yet we can look to other countries such as Australia where mandatory savings rate of 9% that will be increasing to 12% over the next decade.

So are you self sufficient with no need for a nudge or a shove? If so, are you on track to replace 80% of your pre-retirement income. Or are you someone who needs a nudge or a shove? Since we don't have this type of mandate in the U.S. , you will need to make sure that you give yourself a shove to get to a savings rate above 10%. If your employer sponsored retirement plan offers a way to automatically increase your savings rate on a regular basis, you can be on the right track by simply signing up for that.

Caring for aging parents is not a new topic, but it is becoming a much more consistent theme of our generation. Our family is now helping care financially for our two aging mothers and soon, folks like us will be in the majority.

A USA TODAY/ABC News/Gallup poll of baby boomers finds that 41% of people who have a living parent are providing care for them through financial help, personal care or both. A study by the AARP estimates that these folks spend an average 21 hours a week helping out. Of those who are not caring for an aging parent, 37% say they expect to do so in the future. About half say they're concerned about being able to provide such care.

In our family situation, we have gas cards for both of our moms to help with at least one wildly fluctuating cost. Each of our moms lives on a fixed income and not having to deal with the see-saw of gas prices helps each live within the confines of their fixed incomes. The responsibility of other major expenses, such as needing to change a roof, a major home repair or buying a car also lands on us.

This spring, my mother will need a new car so we have already started talking about options. Beyond the financial component of this, the emotions it drives are fascinating. I remember my parents establishing boundaries and level-setting me on the cost of things growing up. Now, I am the one setting (and resetting) expectations on car options for my mom. While awkward, it is important to make restrictions known to make sure my family is not stretched beyond our means while also trying to make mom happy with her new ride. This can be a very tough balance because we want the best for our parents, but we also want to save enough so the next generation can have a college fund for their education. Becoming a parent the first time is tough, but then becoming a parent to your parent offers a new set of interesting challenges.

How are you balancing the role reversals you are facing?

How do you help someone who doesn't feel they need to be helped? That's a question that could be asked in any number of contexts: When thinking about a close friend who desperately needs to lose some weight. When trying to get through to a colleague who isn't taking care of her health. And often when considering the needs of older parents.

It happened in my family. My grandfather was stridently independent. He had lost his wife decades earlier, never remarried, and was proud at how well he took care of himself. When things started to slip through the cracks - bills, for instance, went unopened and unpaid - he wasn't willing to discuss the matter. In fact, he was 95 before he allowed my father (his only child) into his financial life to help.

Sometimes - as in Gina's family - the care needed revolves around health more than it does around finances. It can still be a tricky dance. Here are a few suggestions for making it a little easier:

Do what you have to do to start the conversation. Sometimes this is relatively simple. You gather your siblings and make a game plan for what you need to discuss. Chart out a convenient time and launch in. But I also understand that there are some parents that don't want to play ball. And there may be some of you who feel too uncomfortable to begin. In that case, it sometimes pays to bring in a third party - not a grown child but an advisor (lawyer, accountant, etc.) that the parent trusts to facilitate. It's important that your parent gets the feeling that you're not trying to wrest control, you're trying to a) understand what their wishes are and b) make sure that nothing slips through the cracks that would make their lives more difficult than necessary.

While you're there, get the details. Or at least make a list of the details you need to nail down, so you know what has to be followed up on. These include things like locations of accounts, contact information for important individuals (again, lawyer, accountant, etc.), and making sure that all of the crucial documents - will, living will, durable power of attorney for finances, healthcare proxy - have been executed and you know where they are.

Start considering a care plan. Once it becomes clear that your parents will need some help with their care, it becomes a question of how much help - and how much cost. If this is a world unfamiliar to you, hiring a geriatric care manager to help you figure out what's needed, what you can do yourself and what you can't is often a smart move. These consultants are familiar with what's available through local, state and federal governments as well as in your area and can help you navigate. You can find one at caremanager.org. The National Association of Area Agencies on Aging also can help you locate caregiving help.

I know everyone has experienced seeing a business card with acronyms to note a person's professional designations, and some of those you may have not been entirely sure of the meaning. One of my favorites is the CLU designation for a Chartered Life Underwriter, because it offers many avenues for cocktail humor about getting a "CLU." Not all acronyms are created equally - for humor or in the decision-making process when selecting a financial advisor.

In 2009 a group of leaders at a firm then called Wachovia Securities, brainstormed ways to best serve LGBT families. That team approached the College of Financial Planning with an idea to create a special course and designation for financial advisors called the Accredited Domestic Partnership Advisor or ADPA certification . The College opened this designation only to that firm (now Wells Fargo Advisors) for a period of time, and since has opened the designation to other advisors from other firms. In 2010, 78 FAs received the designation, 68 in 2011 and thus far in 2012 53 have already completed the certification. That shows promise and terrific growth for an important program.

The ADPA certified advisors go through special instruction addressing unique planning needs of LGBT clients and unmarried heterosexual couples. There have been numerous revisions to the curriculum since so many laws and rules continue to change across the country. Advisors must already have achieved high levels of success and training to even enter this program by being a Certified Financial PlannerTM professional or CPA or similar level of designation.

The ADPA designation is a great one to remember for nontraditional couples seeking an advisor to ensure they understand unique needs from wealth transfer to gift taxes to adoption nuances. If you are in the market for an advisor, ask if they are ADPA certified.

From a financial perspective, being half of a same sex couple is a lot like being a single person in America. There are a number of moves you need to make to protect yourself and your partner, if you have one, including:

Write a will. If you're half of a heterosexual married couple and you die, the law makes sure everything passes to your spouse. In states that recognize same sex marriage, that may also be the case. But not in other states. Your belongings - if you don't have a will - will go to your kids, parents, grandparents and other relatives. If that's your intention, fine. If it's not, you need a will that spells out who you want to get what and, if you have children, who you want to care for them. Two-thirds of American adults don't have wills (a statistic that makes me angry every time I see it). It's time for that to change.

Check titles. When same-sex couples own property together, titles are an issue. If the title, say of a house, is in one person's name and that person dies, the other partner may lose the property in a probate challenge. One way to safeguard against that is to share the ownership with a Joint Tenants with Rights of Survivorship Agreement. If this is in place the other partner will receive the house. Unfortunately, estate taxes may kick in unless the surviving partner can prove he or she contributed up to half of the fair market value of the house. If this sounds like it will be a problem for you (i.e. you haven't contributed equally or you don't have a paper trail) talk with your accountant or tax advisor pronto.

Name healthcare/finance power of attorney. What happens if you're incapacitated and unable to handle your own money or make your own healthcare decisions? If you don't have powers of attorney designating your partner - or someone else of your choosing - as the person who is allowed to do this for you, it's an unfortunate crapshoot. These forms are part of the estate planning package you typically get along with a will. Make sure if you live in more than one state that you have forms for each.

Deal with 401(k)s, IRAs and other retirement accounts. Make sure you've named the proper beneficiaries (whomever you want to inherit) retirement accounts. Since 2010, non-spouses have been allowed to roll these inherited retirement accounts into their own accounts, then receive the money over their lifetimes rather than in a lump-sum. If you're the beneficiary of someone else's account this is something to keep in mind as well.

Look for the right help. If you need help with your money, make sure you find someone who understands what you're up against. The College for Financial Planning and Wells Fargo have worked together to educate money matters in wealth planning for domestic partners. You can find a planner who is also an Accredited Domestic Partnership Advisor at the website of the College for Financial Planning.

Any parents reading this blog know that there are many "extras" that come with your bundles of joy. Those extras include a bond you will never experience anywhere else, in addition to higher bills from diapers to healthcare to school tuition. I would not change it for the world, but recall my own sticker shock back in 2003 as we moved into the day-to-day costs of childcare. Like so many other parts of becoming a parent, there is no handbook on how to prepare emotionally or financially for all of the extra benefits. As I mentioned in a previous post, the cost to raise a child has increased 25 percent over the last 10 years with projected costs above $285,000 per child. I did hear from some folks that a figure that size serves as birth control, but I would prefer to think of it as a planning opportunity.

Now, based on a recent Wells Fargo nationwide survey, LGBT adults with children consistently report more financial challenges, including preparing for retirement, than LGBT adults without children. LGBT parents feel less comfortable financially than those without children (42% vs. 61%), and reported less confidence in their financial future (40% with children vs. 68% without). They are also twice as likely to report that high living expenses are limiting their ability to save for the future (51% with children vs. 26% without).

So, having children seems to be a terrific equalizer across these different family types. This study reminds us of the need for clear planning and preparing for all families venturing into the world of having children. Comparing it to other special things in your life with a $285,000 price tag, it is an investment in the future requiring a good degree of additional planning.